“There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” Sounds like something I’d say, but those are the immortal words of George Bernard Shaw. When life craps on your head, what better comfort than a little bread, a bowl of pasta, and a large glass of wine. On death row they don’t ask with whom you’d like to have your last phone conversation, they ask what you’d like for your final meal. Let’s face it, food satisfies. Imagine having that last phone conversation with your spouse, and he or she says something to really piss you off. Next thing you know, you’re being strapped to a table and readied for the death IV, and all you can think about is: I‘m dying here, and she wants to know where I put the title for the Dodge Dart.
So here’s a recipe (sort of) that, when combined with a little ….. no, a lot of wine ….. will prepare you to meet your maker:
You’ll need oil, garlic, onion (if you have), pasta, and lots of wine.
Saute the oil, garlic, and onions till the house smells like your Aunt Rosa. If you don’t have an Aunt Rosa, just keep the garlic from burning and use your imagination. Oh, it helps to take a few sips of wine to release your creative juices.
Okay, slow down on the wine. Turn the range to low as you run for a band aid and antibiotic ointment. If you don’t have antibiotic ointment, flush with wine and, yeh, you can take a sip.
Check your cupboard fast for some bottled sauce ….. just in case. No, catsup won’t do (I’m only half Irish). If you can’t find any, get the number of your local pizzeria on speed dial.
Bread is the new spoon. Nothing pushes pasta onto a fork, or cleans a bowl of sauce like a freshly baked piece of Italian bread. If you have to put butter on it, then close up shop and head to the Olive Garden.
Now, pour yourself a bowl ….. I mean ….. a glass of the remaining wine (if any), sit your ass down, and enjoy the fruit of your labor. And if you see redness traveling up from the wound site, I’d get it checked.
And so, I leave you with the insightful words of preeminent food writer M.F.K. Fisher:
“There is a communion of more than our bodies when bread is broken and wine drunk.”
Enjoy! And change the dressing on that wound twice daily.